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Niki Haley jokes

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发表于 2018-10-19 03:29:39 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Outgoing UN ambassador Niki attended A E Smith foundation dinner in NYC.  Here are her jokes, mostly political ones :

Here are 10 key lines from Haley's speech:
1. "A couple of weeks ago I had this great breakfast with Cardinal Dolan, and I asked him if there was anything I could do to really boost attendance. ... He said, 'Why don't you resign as UN ambassador?' You didn't tell me you were kidding!"
2. "Jeff Flake was going to be here, but he wanted to give the FBI a week to look into it."
3. "With all of our differences, there is still one thing that unites all 193 [UN member] countries. At one point, every single one of them was paying Paul Manafort."
4. "People always wonder if I felt different or isolated as an Indian-American growing up in rural South Carolina. Actually, there was a benefit. It totally prepared me for being a Republican in New York."
5. "I am still someone who gets very excited about Halloween, but in this toxic environment, even this causes political arguments. Bernie Sanders wants free candy for everyone. Mitch McConnell calls it a typical Democrat giveaway program. The President says its going to be the best Halloween ever -- nothing like it ever before, huge!"
6. "As a member of the UN delegation, I do have diplomatic immunity ... an exemption from prosecution, or as Mayor de Blasio calls it, a sanctuary city! Oh look, I got the mayor a drink up on stage -- no ice!"
7. "People ask me all the time what they should call me -- governor, ambassador, Nikki. You can call me anything, just don't call me anonymous."
8. "I saw Jeff Sessions earlier today -- not in New York. I saw him on LinkedIn looking for a job. Actually, we both were."
9. "I saw when recently [President Barack Obama] said that we're not supposed to use the FBI or the Justice Department to punish political enemies. Comey, McCabe and Strzok said, now you tell us! Turns out what President Obama meant to say -- 'That's what we use the IRS for.'"
10. "The President got really mad about Woodward's book, really mad. The book compared him to a fifth grader. A lot of Democrats seized on that, until they realized, they got beat by a fifth grader."
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