Ouch! Hunting Really Hurts

pixelpusher

I am pathetic. Hunting is proving to be like using cocaine (not that I tried before) - for a brief moment you are soaring high, but most of the time afterwards you keep sinking deeper into suffering from the withdrawal.

When Arlena indicated that I could visit again before she leaves town in about a week, I said with confidence I would only do it once a month and left. Never would I have expected I would be showing up at her door again in just five days, the day before she left. Today she would fly out of town, she told me.

My mind was constantly returning to thinking about her; even at work, I could not help drift off to replays of the sessions with her, trying to visualize her in my mind's eye, her smiles, her words, her body, everything about her. While one part of me is saying I am going way too far, and I have no part in her life except the fleeting moments as a customer and a sex worker, and I cannot possibly offer her what she deserves; the other part of me is yearning for more of her, is feeling the pain when she said she was twice sick during the two-week stint, when she showed up in the lobby looking tired, when she agreed she had cavity problems and didn't have dental coverage, when she said she missed her parents, when her stomach was upset and making embrassing loud noises, when she said her gum was a little inflamed, and most of all, when I did not perform well - it was terrifying. Dont' know why - I could be rock solid when shooting planes by myself, but I was totally underwhelming and demolished in front of the girl that I cared about.

Deep down, I know, despite her looks that could kindle a man's desire to love and protect, Arlena is a strong girl. To step into this business takes courage and a spirit of adventure, and is not for the faint of the heart. She said she was the one in her family that insisted on going abroad for studies; and she was a tom boy at elementary school. Her tatoo and piercing were indication that she was not afraid of trying out new things.

Everything about her was so painfully beautiful - her delicate slim hand (holding it gave this wonderful GF feeling), her natural B-cup boobs and cutest nipples that I was even afraid to touch as if they were such delicate and brittle pieces of art, her charming eyes that made her look like she stepped out of a Japanese cartoon, and the way she smiled - pure and disarming. I have to admit I was totally swepted off my feet. That's why it really hurts - it breaks the heart, the bank, the confidence and spirit. I felt kinda sick and beside myself today. I felt really stupid too - men like me are stupid: they go out to hunt for beauty, but beauty really hurts; if men go out for average girls, they will probably be happier - just play, enjoy the service and go back to normal life and work, no strings attached.

As fate would have it, she could not find her cell phone at the end of the session; and she used mine to ring her phone hoping to hear it. Turned out it could be left behind in her agent's car. So I had her phone number in my call log. But I know I will not call her and disturb her life as I have nothing to offer. Arlena seemed interested when I told her about the shooting stars I saw over the pitch dark sky at a camping ground by the sea on the east coast; and I could not help thinking that my brief encounters with her are like two shooting blips showing up at the same time in the night sky, crossing each other's paths, and disappearing back into the night, never to meet each other again.

I wish Arlena find her happiness in life that belongs to her.

Having bared this off my chest, I can begin the healing process slowly. Is it just me? I have this weakness. But I kinda feel there might be other bros out there that sometimes get attached and hung on a particular girl, because I saw posts that were looking for some girl that they knew from before.

Any suggestion is welcome, brothers and sisters.

hahawowo

i am glad that i didn't try arlena, dont want to have that heartbreaking experience. i just want to enjoy , but sometime its hard to handle your heart. hope u can get back to normal life, just tell yourself the girl was faking her story, then u will probably feel better.

pixelpusher

Thank you Hahawowo. I tend to believe her story is mostly true, the part that is not true is that she is from Halifax, base on her phone area code. But I'd like to think they need to protect their identity, especially if they are real students.

magatron

I did have that kinda feeling after I tried Angela once last year, and it went away eventually... Man, I totally feel your pain. Yer coming out for fun, but can't go that far, just remember the purpose, and remember that yer not looking for a girlfriend~~~Hope you do feel better.

pixelpusher

Thank you Megatron bro. I do feel better after I shared my thoughts on the forum, and know that there are others who have been there and back safely.

magatron

No worries man, it's just when people feel lonely, that kind thinking will appear, and trust me man, that special bonding you felt is gonna go away, all you need to do is go out have more fun...ha, just kidding...

joejoe31

沉船

fuckerman

ur dream girl I only rate 6.5/10. even 120 i will never go back to her again.  And will not go to this grage again.

ibanez958

did u get her contact info for the future?? if not, i don't think any of the story is real. i been to a time where we became friend after, & still we are good friend even after she is married with kid now

Noob

ibanez958 发表于 2012-3-17 06:00 static/image/common/back.gif
did u get her contact info for the future?? if not, i don't think any of the story is real. i been t ...

holy shit. how u do that !!

just like other brother said. u probably just feel lonely at a time.  for me just treat it as a pay transaction and uou have someone entertain you for 30min andi always like to look for different one to entertain me