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发表于 2014-12-26 03:28:16
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| 21#
发表于 2013-11-4 20:00:10 | 只看该作者
Why do prostitutes make more money than drug dealers?
Because they can wash their crack and sell it again!
A woman walks into a Kalgoorlie accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.”
He gets her name, address etc. And then asks,”What’s your occupation?”
“I’m a prostitute,” she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, “Let’s try to rephrase that.”
The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl”. “No, that still won’t work. Try again.”
They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite poultry farmer.”
The accountant asks, “What does poultry farming have to do with being a prostitute?”
“Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year”
“Ok, Poultry Farmer it is.” |
| coldfeet before the trip, it will be over soon, but so much can happen in a blink of an eye, let alone weeks. dont let me down sweetie, u gonna completely alter my lifepath once u step into that house
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| 22#
发表于 2013-11-4 20:01:29 | 只看该作者
Pregnant Prostitute
Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, “do you know who the father is?”
“For f…. sakes ,if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart?”
So True
Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself.
The Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you’ve been f@#ked. |
| coldfeet before the trip, it will be over soon, but so much can happen in a blink of an eye, let alone weeks. dont let me down sweetie, u gonna completely alter my lifepath once u step into that house
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| 23#
发表于 2013-11-4 20:02:12 | 只看该作者
Drive By
A guy broke into my apartment last week.
He didn’t take my TV, just the remote.
Now he drives by and changes the channels.
Sick Bastard! |
| coldfeet before the trip, it will be over soon, but so much can happen in a blink of an eye, let alone weeks. dont let me down sweetie, u gonna completely alter my lifepath once u step into that house
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| 24#
发表于 2013-11-4 20:02:39 | 只看该作者
Scam
Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled “My Favourite 18 Holes”. Turns out it’s about golf.
Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don’t get scammed. |
| coldfeet before the trip, it will be over soon, but so much can happen in a blink of an eye, let alone weeks. dont let me down sweetie, u gonna completely alter my lifepath once u step into that house
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| 25#
发表于 2013-11-4 20:06:04 | 只看该作者
I told her : “I might not be rich, I have no money or villa or cars or companies like my friend John, but I love you and adore you.
You will be the happiest woman with me.
She looked at me with tears in her eyes and hugged me like there is no tomorrow and whispered in my ear:
“If you love me, introduce me to John…” |
| coldfeet before the trip, it will be over soon, but so much can happen in a blink of an eye, let alone weeks. dont let me down sweetie, u gonna completely alter my lifepath once u step into that house
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| 26#
发表于 2013-11-4 20:06:54 | 只看该作者
Joe was walking home late at night and sees the shadow of a woman.
“Twenty dollars…”she whispers.
He’d never been with a hooker before, but he decides, what the
hell, it’s only twenty bucks. So they hide in the bushes.
They’re going “at it” for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them . . it’s a police officer!
“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.
“I’m making love to my wife,” Joe answers indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”
“Well,” Joe says, “neither did I, until you flashed that light on her face”. |
| coldfeet before the trip, it will be over soon, but so much can happen in a blink of an eye, let alone weeks. dont let me down sweetie, u gonna completely alter my lifepath once u step into that house
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| 27#
发表于 2013-11-4 22:55:03 | 只看该作者
happypooning 发表于 2013-11-4 20:06
Joe was walking home late at night and sees the shadow of a woman.
“Twenty dollars…”she whispers ...
I will give your joke a different twist from the 3rd paragraph:
"That is too much. How about ten?"
"I sell only one price, no deal."
Next day, he was having dinner with wife in a neighbourhood eatery, in came the lady of the night who he talked to the night before.
She recognized him, & said, "i told you so, look what have you got for your lousy $10!"
The moral of the story? 唔怕貨比貨,最怕唔識貨!
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| One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind - Neil Armstrong, JUL21 1969.
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| 28#
发表于 2013-11-4 23:08:48 | 只看该作者
dragondick 发表于 2013-11-4 22:55
I will give your joke a different twist from the 3rd paragraph:
"That is too much. How about ten ...
u have quite a talent!! good imagination too. i wonder what's ur profession, author, reporter, or some kind advertising agent |
| coldfeet before the trip, it will be over soon, but so much can happen in a blink of an eye, let alone weeks. dont let me down sweetie, u gonna completely alter my lifepath once u step into that house
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| 29#
发表于 2013-11-5 01:03:57 | 只看该作者
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| 30#
发表于 2013-11-5 03:37:17 | 只看该作者
happypooning 发表于 2013-11-4 23:08
u have quite a talent!! good imagination too. i wonder what's ur profession, author, reporter, or ...
When young girls ask me re my profession, I usually telll them that I am an OB/GYN doctor (婦產科醫生), & that they must pay me to examine them! |
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