Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q. What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other?
A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!
Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.
Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.
Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.
A. The thief was spending less then his wife.
Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.
Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.
Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?"
Q. Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
A. When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.
Q. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.
Q. What is the definition of a menstrual period?
A. A bloody waste of fucking time.
Q. What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A. Yell at her.
Q. What's a virgin and a balloon have in common ?
A. All it takes is one prick and its all over.
Q. Why are women like Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A. After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Q. What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common ?
A. You don't look down.
Q. Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A. The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack.
Q. How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
A. The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.
Q. What is a zebra?
A. 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
Q. What did the blind man say as he passed the fish market?
A. Good morning Girls
Q. What is the difference between a female snowman and a male snowman?
A. Snowballs.
Q. What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say to clients as they are leaving?
A. Thanks for coming.
Q. Why does a bride smile when she's walking down the aisle?
A. She knows she's given her last blow job.
Q. What is the definition of "making love"?
A. Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
Q. What's the only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back?
A. A police horse.
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common?
A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
Q. What two words will clear out a men's changing room quicker than anything else?
A. Nice dick!
Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife...
A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Q. What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A. Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q. Why is air a lot like sex?
A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Q. What's the best thing about a blow job?
A. Ten minutes of silence!
Q. How do you know when a male porn star is at the gas station?
A. Right before the gas stops pumping he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car.
Q. Why did God invent yeast infection?
A. So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying cunt.
Q. Did you hear about the two gay judges?
A. They tried each other.
|