my diary - just for the record......

happypooning

I was debating whether i should post it on Craigslist under missed connection or here. I finally decided to post it here, hopefully you will read it soon. i know u know about this review board. just a matter of time u will come across this message. sex747 is my spiritual home, this is my getaway, this is where i can be myself without people judging me being me. this is the realest me. because of u, i don't write BP reviews, i don't want ppl to find out about u, i am very selfish, but it also demonstrates how much u mean to me, how offensive when u said, maybe u were just a whore to me, please don't ever use that word in front of me, if you were a whore to me, what am i to, a pig, a douchbag, human waste??

You asked have i ever fell for you for real. do i like u. i didn't know what to say at that point. u put me on the spot, anything i say, will jeapodize our current realtionship or arrangement. u r part of my life now even though i tried to suppress it, i tried to deny it. i tried to separate u from my real life. but the truth is u r immersed in it compleltey in more than one way  more than one dimension..i can not explain properly. i kept silent, because i don't have the guts to escalate it to the next level. i am happy where we are now if you are.
u know u shattered my world when i found out i am on ur speed dial 2. remember that day, we threw the clothes on the ground and my cell phone flew underneath the bed, and u had to call my number to locate it, if i am right, speed dial 1 is voicemail...don't you have other ppl more important, why do u allow urself to get hurt like this, u know i have a girlfriend, u know i use escort, u know i go to massage, u know i am a cheater, the fact that i still use escort when i have a girlfriend. i am bad news. there are tons of decent nice asian guys out there, i am just not one of them, i want to be one, but u got to face the reality here. i use escort, i cheat. u deserve someone better, u deserve someone who is able to give u 100% love and attention, u derserve someone who doesn't cheat, u deserve someone who doesn't use escort. this is just an infatuation. nothing more. please believe me, i will still see u if u want me to, but we got to keep it professional. we can not let two worlds collide, u won't be the only victim, u will destroy me too.  and quite frankly, u r not the first sp i got romantically involved, i can assure u, u won't be the last...i thought u started ur new real job already, why r u still in this industry, is it because of me, i sincerely believe it's just my wishful thinking.

u asked me if any of this is real, if i like u a bit

here is my answer

I like you when you say, how r u, and then i said fine. and u ask again with seriously, how are you
I like you when you stand on ur tippy toes to kiss me
I like you when you fix my tie for me
I like you when you refuse to use ur own glass, and insist on sharing one glass of water with me
I like you when you pick up tiny hair from my shirt
I like you when you ask me to stay for just10 more mins
I like you when you ask me if i ever thought about u outside this room
I like you when you intentially drink my coffee
I like you when you give me a hard time when i ask you to go down on me
I like you when you laugh for no apparent reason
I like you when you giggle over something not even funny, something so trivial
I like you when you dry my body with towel and complain i always miss certain spots
I like you when you make a face to me, although u don't look attractive at all when u do that
I like you when you hide the clock and my watch
I like you when you have no clue how adorable you are
I like you when you tell me to run away with you even though you say it half-joking
I like you when you secrely hide my scarf or belongings so i would come back to get it

so is it enough to show u i am in like with u, the list can go on if u want me to
we are both adults, we are not in school anymore. there is a difference between fantasy and reality.
just because u want something, doesn't mean u can always have it
just because u try ur best ur work ur @ss off, doesn't mean u will succeed for sure
did u believe in santa claus when u were a little girl, i bet u believed in him with every cell in ur body, but for sure u know he doesn't exist by now. in spite of the facts that u did see presents underneath the christmas tree, parents promised u he existed, and he ate the cookies u prepared, but at the end of the day he is just a fantasy. essentially we are like that too. we strongly believe in each other now, we trick each other to believe this is real, we send out signals and cues to play with our hearts... but trust me on this ...few years from now, i am just another santa claus guy

tomsiu

Oh! So touching. Heart thrived. Head smidge. Eye wept. R u sure no ranting? JJ no withering?
Your diary .... Date please!
Nod from Succubus@ss

catergang

salute u o' noble 情聖

ahwong

This is for records that I read it, from beginning to end

7samurai

Nothing like a trail of bread crumbs to be outed one day and  finally gain inner peace from the self imposed drama?

tomsiu

Hey happy Gor ..... then (story/next)?

happypooning

tomsiu 发表于 2014-3-16 08:22
Hey happy Gor ..... then (story/next)?

i am afraid i might disappoint u because there is no happy ending. i am 99% sure she hasn't read it yet though, i did go see her again, at the end, i took out my wallet, she told me to put it away, she doesn't feel like a whore today so she used that word in front of me again (how i know she didnt read this message), and then she took out her purse and $5. yes an old $5 bill and handed it to me, what's this..i was like this isn't even funny at all. she insisted, so i took it reluctantly. i was like i must be the cheapest male prostitute in the city. $5 and no tips, just 5 bucks. i said i am either not ur cup of tea, or my performance was so bad that i only deserved 5 bucks and no tips.. she laughed out loud. and she told me to do her dishes i am not kidding.... piece of work, i was like so. for as low as $5, u get to sleep with me, plus i need to do ur dishes afterward??!! the most shocking part is i actually complied. now this a rant. it severely hurts my ego, 5 bucks.

but for that one hour or so, i was truly happy. i even had a smile when i was doing her dishes, i know it hurts my ego, but at the same time, i was very happy she did what she did.. i told myself don't 得了便宜還賣乖

happypooning

p.s. sweetie, if u do read this msg and my previous comment, don't bother to google translate "得了便宜還賣乖"

it doesn't work .. that's how deep chinese is.. u can't translate word by word. u can beg me next time

tomsiu

happypooning 发表于 2014-3-16 10:40
i am afraid i might disappoint u because there is no happy ending. i am 99% sure she hasn't read i ...

HappyGor, At this point I hv to believe that it is your REAL diary. Otherwize, no interest to continue .... right!

You did mention you done her dishes? Means you hv to work at her home (not at ss). Uh ..... marvelous.

You hv to go (to her home) one more time at least (to show her this diary). Happy ending maybe?

happypooning

tomsiu 发表于 2014-3-16 12:30
HappyGor, At this point I hv to believe that it is your REAL diary. Otherwize, no interest to cont ...

what r u trying to say here, r u accusing me of stealing other ppl's diary. i typed every single word myself. other than for her to read, the purpose of this message is just for the record, my own pleasure of reading few years from today, here is the proof.

i have seen her many times @ holiday inn before. i am not sure if she is retired or semi-retired now. but i don't see her ads on BP anymore. she is kind of sensitive, so would be blunt if i just confront her...i suspect she's retired, so really no point to book for hotel just for us, i don't know if she "works" at her home, but i did see her @ her place, and not the first time.

marvelous for u and other E, and C fans. because i won't be seeing them, at least not now